Pregnant and New Moms – Take Heed on Social Media!
First of all if you are pregnant or a new mom I want to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! As a mom of four I know it can be rough. Pregnancy can be painful, exhausting and not at all what you expected. Being a new mom the same thing. You are so excited for your new bundle of joy, and yet once they are here you are so exhausted, sleep deprived and dealing with so much unexpected discomfort. I know I have been there! I have also been the person who I am sure has complained and whined through it all.
But let me tell you a little something I have learned over the past two years. Although I have four amazing and beautiful kids, I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage. Each of these miscarriages came with their own challenges. One thing that I have learned however through these miscarriages is that each and every second you are pregnant is a blessing. Each baby that is brought into this world is a blessing. From the very second of conception that little life is a blessing. Now I have always felt this way about pregnancy and human life from the moment of conception, but through my losses it has become much much much more near and dear to my heart.
Now that I have gone through years of loss and pain of my own, I have began to understand how people like my mother in law must have felt when she would hear me complain about pregnancy, while knowing full well she could never have babies of her own. I have since made a vow that IF I am ever blessed with another pregnancy and child, I will never again allow myself to be that person who complains on social media. It is best to find someone who you can vent to. Someone who you know can help you get through your frustrations, emotions and exhaustion. As far as sharing these feelings on social media, believe me everyone know you are struggling. Everyone knows you are sleep deprived and hormonal – it comes with the territory of being pregnant and/or a new mom. You don’t need to vent it out on social media. Instead think first about the friends you may have that could feel completely broken by what seems like harmless complaints and venting. Try and share your joys and happy moments with your friends on social media…believe me it will means so much more to everyone around you!
Please consider not complaining on social media about how uncomfortable your pregnancy has been, because no matter what their is someone out there that is trying so hard to conceive a baby. Someone out there who would be thankful to be going through your sickness, pain and agony. Please keep that in mind when you complain on social media. You may not know who on your friends list is dealing with these heart-wrenching emotions of reading your statuses and feeling their loss all over again. Wishing so bad they could trade places with you because they wouldn’t be taking this pregnancy for granted. SOCIAL MEDIA is not an appropriate place to voice complaints as it is not relational in an intimate way…. Nor can it filter out who should or shouldn’t hear what’s being said.
Again, for the new mom’s out there again congratulations! I am sure you are so overwhelmed with love and emotions for your new sweet baby. But please take heed when voicing your emotions on social media. Keep in mind that their are so many people out there in the world that would do anything to have a baby and bring that little bundle of joy home with them. Yes you are likely hormonal and sleep deprived. You may even be struggling with postpartum depression. I can totally and completely relate. But please talk to your spouse, a good friend, a parent, pastor or even counselor. You need to vent, but please not on social media! It hurts – it really hurts so bad! Enjoy this time with your baby, because believe me someday you will miss these moments of waking up 5 times throughout the night to nurse. Cherish the sweet moments you get alone together (even if those moments feel like they will bring you to tears yourself). Your baby is a blessing and even though at times is may seem unbearable, please think about this before sharing your frustrations and emotions with the world on social media.
Remember there are people out there who are able and willing to listen to you if you need to vent. Just try not to do it on public forums like social media where it can be taken the wrong way or cause friends and family to feel heart broken.
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8 Comments
lindaspiker
Agree and disagree. In one way I understand your point. But having had six kids I also realize how uncomfortable, stressful and lonely pregnancy can be. Sometimes you just need to vent and I also think other pregnant moms think “Oh I am not the only one that feels this way!”
LaNeshe (Nesheaholic.com)
I’m not sure that I agree, at least for myself. Having had two miscarriages, any posts from mommas could trigger sadness for me until I got my rainbow, whether complaining about their pregnancy or talking about it’s greatness. Social networks are personal broadcasting forums and I think people should be allowed to express themselves. If we only posted things that had no change of affecting someone else, we’d post nothing at all!
Living Chic Mom
I totally understand what you are saying. However my main point is that social media has become a forum to simply complain. It is almost depressing to look at Facebook regardless of whether they are talking about their pregnancies and babies. But when you are already struggling with postpartum depression hearing someone complain about their pregnancy and baby, really strikes a nerve of sadness for me. I just wish people understood how they sound when writing their statuses on Facebook and how it could be taken by others. For instance, if I was struggling through a terrible pregnancy (which I have 7 of those) I would be cautious of what I said (face to face) to my dear friend who had just recently lost her baby. However, when we are on social media it’s as if we don’t have to think of others…only ourselves. My point is to think about what you say before you say it. If you wouldn’t say those words, complaints or whatever else to a friend in person, don’t write it on social media where they can read it!
Thank you so much for committing on your opinion! Of course everyone has the right to their own opinions and that’s the beauty of being individuals! Have a beautiful day!
Living Chic Mom
I agree! We all do need to vent! I am simply asking that you find the appropriate forum to do so. Like a mom’s playgroup of close friends that you know can relate and not be hurt by the venting. Social media is so broad, and you don’t always know who you are venting to! Hope that makes since!
Mommy Wants Coffee
I think the important thing to remember is to watch what you say and how it may come across. We tried for years without a successful conception until we were able to have our daughter through IVF. During that time, my sister in law thought it was appropriate to directly complain to me about being sick from pregnancy. She knew what we were going through and it hurt me deeply. However, after being pregnant (twice) now, I understand the uncork able feelings and the stresses of being pregnant. I haven’t forgotten the struggles we faced and I never take our sweet blessings for granted, but sometimes you just need to let out your feelings. Yes, finding someone to vent to is important, but that isn’t possible at times. For a mommy’ sown mental health it is important to get it out rather than constantly being scared of offending someone. It doesn’t mean they are taking what they have for granted. I am very sorry to hear about your losses.
Logan Can
I have not lost a baby and can not imagine how painful that is, but I do remember when I was struggling to get pregnant how hurtful it was to see mothers complaining. It was painful. I know they didn’t mean anything by it. They were just venting after a bad day or experience, but I agree that it is important to remember those who have lost children and who struggle to have any at all when posting these things. When in doubt, don’t post it!
Karin Rambo
This is a great reminder! Thank you so much for posting this.
Claire
Sorry for what you’ve gone through. What a great reminder!